Ideas For Good Writing

- Learn the difference between WHAT and THAT!
Examples

• In this paragraph Rodriguez says what he was feeling.
• In this paragraph Rodriguez writes that he feels conflicted about the differences between Mexico and California AND THE IMPACT EACH HAD ON THE MAN HE IS TODAY (capitals added by Mrs. Rosen!).

Ask yourself, 'which is wha't?! 'About'?!

Most people went wrong in telling “what” instead of “that”. Because “that” lengthens your analysis, it is better to continue elaborating, than to cut off a sentence. If someone uses what instead of that, there is a larger chance of Mrs. Rosen saying “About?” “So?”.

Difference between:
By doing x, Rodriguez shows what he is doing
By doing x, Rodriguez shows that …. (Keep going)

Spring boarding your literary skills is as simple as using more useful ink, through “thats” instead of “whats”.


- The means versus ends

• means – pattern, subject
• ends – purpose

Don't just tell the means, we must know the ends too. (Again, what versus how)

Means represent the patterns and subjects, concrete ideas, while ends represent the conceptual ideas, purpose, etc. To ignore the ends and only address the means is to limit one’s ability to actually analyze an essay.

If you get the point, write it in the introduction. Since the introduction is used to summarize subjects, and ideals, it is best to put conclusive points (such as “Rodriguez does not have to decide whether California or Mexico”) and thesis statements EARLIER on, to show the AP examiners that the idea of the reading is understood earlier on. For example, if you stated your understanding, and did not finish writing your essay, the examiners will STILL credit you for your in-depth understanding.


- If you “get” an author’s point, the ends (purpose), put it in the INTRO.
à an author’s end discovery shouldn’t be YOUR end discovery.
- then you can be largely chronological, but you MUST pay attention to textual organization.
You can pay attention to textual organization by always looking for a shift (AP likes gray, no black and white feelings, even if speaker sounds black and white, the piece will ALWAYS have a shift)

- Updated by Emily and Alex Zhang

• If you're intending on using repetition, it's better to use a set of three rather than two as to seem more deliberate. If you only write your particular word or phrase twice, it may seem more accidental than on purpose. For example, if you wan to focus on a person's description, it's better to write with three sets: "She was strong. She was talented. She was fearless." than with two: "She was strong. She was talented and fearless." - Amelie
• When writing description, make sure the description always relates back to your main purpose. Do not write a lavish description on something that does not help you link back to the purpose. For example, if your writing's main purpose is to describe how an artist throws you your first lifeline, do not waste a huge paragraph of description on the interior decor of the artist's shop if it does not describe the artist in any way (indirectly or directly). - Jean
• To emphasize a crucial detail when describing something, it creates a stronger image when it is mentioned in the beginning and end. For example, start in the beginning saying, "We all had to tilt our heads upwards to meet her eyes." And towards the end of the piece, repeat the same detail. "When I saw her again, I still had to tilt my head upwards to meet her eyes." This creates an enveloping effect that emphasizes an important characteristic. - Wendy
• When paragraphs are almost identical length, consider varying them to add emphasis on a particular line or phrase. For example, if there is a paragraph about how you think a person likes you, go into great detail about how much you think they like you. You then discover they dislike you. Instead of writing a paragraph of the same length finding out they really do not like you, consider making it one line which will add emphasis on how wrong you were (will have an impact on the reader; gives them time to also understand how wrong you were). - Alex Sot
• Vary your sentence structure! No matter how descriptive your writing is, it will seem boring to the reader if your sentence structure stays relatively the same throughout the whole piece. Changing sentence structure is also a good way to show a change in voice from child to adult, or vice versa. Children tend to speak in independent clauses ( usually just subject, verb, adjective), so adding in dependent clauses will make your writing sound more adult-like. - Cynthia
• Read your writing from an audience's perspective, especially when you write about yourself. You can be attached to your speaker and assume that the audience will know what you know. But this is not the case, your audience only knows what you tell them. In my lifeline, I always knew that I was a timid girl as a child, and I didn't explain it, so my ending, which talked about how a teacher gave me confidence, was abrupt, and it did not pull together my whole lifeline. - Ji Young
• You have to help your reader, even if the only reader is Ms. Rosen. It doesn't matter if everyone knows you're writing about your lifeline; you can't assume that, for instance, the audience will accept that you singled out your lifeline for no apparent reason. You should give the reader a reason to follow your story while making it logical and smooth. It might help to read from your audience's perspective, as Ji Young said, to get an idea of where you may have assumed something without explanation. - Dan
• Always have a clear speaker in mind when writing an essay. Certain diction and sentence structures may effect how the audience views the speaker. For example, Short sentences with simple diction convey a child's voice. Whereas, long fluid flowing sentences, augmented with elegant metaphors and complex diction, portrays a more mature speaker. Run-on sentences, not only speed up the pace which the audience is reading, but can also represent nervousness or confusion in a speaker and will make the speaker sound less confident in his/her words. The difference between a clear understanding as to who your speaker is and not knowing who your speaker is, can change the entire tone of the piece, and may ultimately influence the overall impact of your message. - Kevin Jou
• When writing an essay consider a more catchy and interesting first sentence to attract the audience's attention. Without a interesting first sentence the reader might get bored, and will have no reason to finish your essay. When writing your lifeline be sure that you are not just TELLING them what had happened, because this does not allow the reader to HEAR your voice or SEE what you may have gone through. Being able to hear and see the details of your lifeline keeps the audience interested and makes the lifeline more personal. - Lynette
• Don't use phrases such as "I remember" or "We would...". This creates space between you and the reader. Rather than describing a lot of instances, focus on one particular time and describe it as if you were experiencing it another time. Now the reader will be connected to your experiences and therefore become less confused. It doesn't matter if something happened a lot of times, all you have to do is isolate that one time and explain its impact/significance. Also, if you write in a broad manner your reader might miss out on some crucial points that you have not yet explained and assumed the reader already knew. Doubling back to explain something you previously left out can imply poor organization and confuse the reader. It is better to write clearly and explain everything the reader should know beforehand. -Kim
• When transitioning from a general period of time to a more specific period of time, be sure to make the transition apparent. Unclear transitions can leave your readers puzzled as they will not understand how the time period changed so suddenly. You can avoid this by either making the transition clear ("As the days passed by...") or by adding small sentences in between two periods of time to show the change. Do not just describe one moment in time and then jump to another moment in time. Figure out how to connect the two moments. - Juhi
• When writing dialogue, make sure it helps build on the main idea of the essay or conveys the characteristics of a character. If the purpose of the dialogue is largely unclear, then there is probably room for editing. For example, in the lifelines, if the words themselves don't seem to matter, the dialogue should be replaced or changed. One way to reinforce the significance of your dialogue is to add reflection afterwards that gives insight. If you use it correctly, dialogue can be one of the most powerful parts of a piece of writing. - Tait
• When writing descriptions and thought processes, be sure not to come off as overemphasizing in your approach - it might come off as melodramatic and dilute the meaning of the writing. Keep purpose in mind, while maintaining a clear and genuine connection with the reader. Although an adult voice might imply more complicated and descriptive sentences, do not confuse an effective and precise description with a convoluted, dramatic one. - Alex
• When writing, be careful to avoid cliches. For example "drowned in the waves of my own self pity" is a cliche. If you do use a cliche try to continue its concept so that it isn't read as a cliche. The waves of self pity on their own would be a cliche, but if you continue its theme it stops being a cliche. For example, "I was drowning in the waves of my own self pity, almost completely submerged in water. Suddenly a line was cast my way, and on the other side waited my lifeline, Mrs. Weber." Continuing the idea of the ocean with correlations such as fishing lines and drowning salvages the cliche. - Zara
• When using rhetorical questions, do not put them in dialogue form if you want to allocate power to a certain character or figure. The intent of rhetorical questions is to communicate with the audience about the truth of the situation. They are powerful in the sense that the answer is known and does not need to be stated. It's like the idea of how what you don't say is more potent than actually saying it. Therefore, a writer should not take away from this power by adding quotations. - Grace
• When narrating a story, remember that the speaker's thoughts should make sense with respect to what he or she knew at the time. For example, if your speaker did something bad, but he or she sensed nothing wrong at the time, do not call it a "delinquency" until after your speaker realizes it as the story progresses. Similarly, if you did not realize back then that you took the wrong path in life, do not say so until after it was made evident to you. It's a story, not a reflection! - Michael

The Three 'A's :)
(Related to our first timed in-class essays.)
AVOID
- Avoid one sentence paragraphs.

- Don't make the same point in more than one sentence - one line is enough.

- Don't use contractions! (ex. would've, could've, etc.)

- Stop explaining narration and let the evidence do most of the explaining.

- Don't use run-ons with however! Use a ";" before "however"!

- Don't refer to paragraph numbers.

- Don't say "This quote...".

----------- uploaded by Grace


ADVICE

• Always name the title and author's full name in the introduction (eg. George Orwell's essay, "The Hanging"...)
• An essay is always quoted and not underlined! (eg. "The Hanging" not The Hanging)
• Be precise with your word choice
  • Do not say "Orwell presented his subject in a subtle manner" - He was not subtle! What you mean is indirect!
  • So subtle (and vague) should be replaced with indirect
  • Obvious should be replaced with direct

• A 'story' must always use present tense!
• Do not waste ink by writing the whole quote down, rather, merely incorporate quote bursts into your essay. A quote burst is taking part of the original quote and fusing it into your essay to sound like a normal sentence, but actually you borrowed words from the author.
  • e.g: Orwell is able to portray his primary purpose of explaining the "unspeakable wrongness" of capital punishment...
  • The "unspeakable wrongness" is actually from Orwell's essay, but you fused it into your own sentence.

• Always try to write your essay in chronological order
  • If your first example is about the last thing in the essay, how will you go back?
  • e.g: If you start your Orwell essay about the men laughing in the end, how can u suddenly go back to the puddle?

• ASAP
  • Analyze: a rhetorical device employed by the author
  • Support: with context from the given passage
  • Analyze: how does it effect the audience? how is it useful?
  • Prompt: tie it back to the prompt

• Sum up the plot so that you do not confuse your reader
  • Even though the examiners know the context of the passage, you should still sum up the context in order to help your example
  • e.g: In Orwell's "The Hanging", if you do not briefly explain that the essay is about a hanging, no one will understand why the puddle is so significant or why the laughter in the end is ironic. Summing up helps back up your examples.

• In the introduction, if you have two sentences of equal length, make one of them an independent clause and the other a dependent clause in order to add variety to your sentences.
• Speaker vs. author
  • Clarify between the author and the speaker of the passage. They are not the same people

- Juhi


ANSWER

- First be able to answer the question, being the most important part of responding to a question (if there is a question there is always an answer when writing essays, or in this situation, answers.)

- Use the opening sentence or two to say Orwell's main purpose and not just that narration is his main pattern. This means that towards the beginning of your introduction paragraph you should state what you will be discussing in the essay (theme). In this particular essay question, there were two questions, one about the purpose and one about the expository pattern: narration. Therefore, you must mention something about both narration and the purpose in the introductory paragraph.

- Some considered Orwell's essay to be not very biased which is not true. Orwell himself is telling and participating in the essay shown by the usage of first person, proving that it is very biased. Be aware that Orwell does not directly state his opinion, but due to the essay being told by the person who witnessed and participated in the essay demonstrates how biased the essay really is.

- Surface vs. Deeper Subject/ Purpose: This can be effective in writing an essay because you are describing the surface or what the audience sees compared to the deeper subject which is usually more hidden. Recognizing both the surface subject and the deeper subject demonstrates a good understanding of a piece.

- It is also important to know what a term is before you go on to describe it. For example, actually stating what narration is in your essay, then describing how Orwell used it in his essay, will be very effective in staying focused and getting to the point.

- HOW vs. WHAT: It is simple to describe what something is, for example what a purpose is, but it is more difficult in describing how it is used or shown in an essay. How is used to support your what and it is vital to use because without using the how, you can not relate the what to your specific piece being analyzed. For example, you state what purpose means or you have an idea of it, but then you go on to show how Orwell uses the purpose in his essay. The how= the support or reasoning.

- Sometimes it is difficult to get right to the point when you do not even know what the point is. Therefore, brainstorming or jotting down a few notes about how you are going to organize your essay or what you are going to include in your essay will help you get straight to the point. Also, sometimes the point is not directly pinpointed while writing an essay and you just write sentence after sentence attempting to state the point, resulting in not actually saying what the point is. It is better to just state the point right away with no 'build up' to stay focused and not waste time.

- This specific question asks you Orwell's purpose first and how the narration aids this purpose second, so it is helpful to go into the purpose first, then showing how it relates to the narration of this essay (providing as a smooth, flowing essay/transitions).

-Alex Sot

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"A Hanging" and Rising Tide Essays

Introductions

• The introduction should be a "guidance" to serve both you and the reader. Remember to include (preferably in this order):
  • purpose
  • any shifts
  • strategies the author used
  • where to go from here on
• Don't simply list the things you're going to cover.
  • try to state the purpose of the author's technique before mentioning them; for example, "the author invokes the sense of amazement through his use of...".
• Don't tell too much about the audience (it is a given).
  • be careful of overdoing.
  • don't make it about the audience unless it asks you to.
• Doesn't need to be sophisticated and doesn't need to be long.
• Shifts
  • Cover the shift: If you see where the essay's shift is before you write the introduction, include it in your intro.
• Opening Lines
  Have something that grabs your attention. You only have one line in your essay at the beginning to write something like this. Do not spend more time than your introduction paragraph to add support. In terms of the "A Hanging" essay, sell your argument on narration through your support.
  
• A good intro will give the examiner a good impression from the beginning. You would rather want to start by giving a high expectation rather than a bad impression, so the examiner will read the rest of your essay in a positive light.
• Show that you know the answer.

The prompt tells us he's fascinated

• Don't go through the time to prove that he is fascinated by the river (Barry essay).
• If you do mention that he is fascinated, only do so in the introduction (that is the only allowed place for stating the obvious).
• This is different from "A Hanging" where you HAD to prove that Orwell was against colonialism and capital punishment because it wasn't directly given to you. You also HAD to prove he was using narration. In Barry's essay, he clearly shows that he is fascinated; it is a given.
  • You can use other words to connect to the prompt
  • Instead of fascinated you could say "marveled", "awed", etc. To describe the river you could say "magnificent".

Paragraph Numbers

• Don't use paragraphs numbers. In your essay don't refer to things like "paragraph 5".

Titles: What if it's long?

• Just write what comes before colons (in this case, Rising Tide).
• Reminder: essays/magazine articles use quotation marks for titles ("The Hanging"), and books/short stories use underline (Rising Tide).

"Cool" phrases

• If you come up with a really neat and fancy sentence or reference, use it once and only once. You will leave a better impression if you do not resort to reusing the same phrase over and over again, even if it may be amazing.

Negative talk

• Don't say anything negative in your essay.
  • ex. Don't say he's obsessed with the river
• Assume that the essay readers only want to read good things.

Other phrases to avoid

• Avoid saying "The author chooses to use..." The author ALWAYS chooses his words and techniques, because he is the writer.
• Avoid beginning a sentence with a phrase like "By doing so, the author...". It would be better to merge the sentence with the previous one to create a longer, more sophisticated sentence.

- Updated by Tait Gu and Michael Xu

Chesterfield Essay

• Don't say the author "says"
• Don't use words such as repeatedly, continuously, constantly, and countlessly; name it
• When analyzing letters, don't refer to readers
• Don't write "by doing this"
• Using adverbs can show that you understand the purpose ex. Chesterfield cleverly claims to want to be his son's friend

-Nataly Lim

Argument Essays - Things to Avoid

• Don’t let logos get in the way of voice. Don’t be so appealing to logic that you forget the emotional side of arguing.
• Avoid melodrama.
• Avoid four paragraph essays (screams you’ve taken the SAT and understand the rudimentary structure of the essay). Smaller paragraphs work better.
• Avoid contractions. Unless the entire essay is taking a casual tone for the purpose (and if it is, sustain the tone throughout entire essay), the academic voice is safer.
• No whiteout (wastes time).
• Avoid contradicting yourself in essay.
• Avoid ‘this’ (needs reference: This _ (insert subject/technique/idea..etc.) demonstrates the....)).

Advice (for Argument Essays):

• Consider anticipating and refuting.
• Consider suggesting possible alternatives (if your essay is stronger in ethos, offer alternatives).
• Consider suggesting that there is a false dilemma.
• If your quote is extreme, give it to someone (eg. Mother Theresa).
• When quoting from a magazine, underline.

- Jean Jiang

Advice: (notes from the final exam)

• If the content of a passage is difficult to follow, a good opening line is key.
• Do not put quotation marks around phrases that are not direct quotes from the text.
  • phrases that are 'common sayings' have single quotations like so
• don't call it a conclusion in the intro
• if a author uses expert testimony, make sure u understand the purpose of it
• do not repeat the same example
• do not use Etc.
• avoid repeating the word 'shift' 500 times
• avoid over-referencing the reader
• the phrasing 'x brings for the idea' is very awkward
• Do not refer to the author by his/her first name, only use last names

-Kevin Jou

• Be creative, try using a negative point and offering a solution to make it positive, or anticipate a fallacy you are going to use, name it and then refute it.
• Plan your concessions/qualifiers out and make sure they are clear.
• Make your intro clean and to the point. Don’t waste time on details that aren’t related to the essay.
• Utilize multiple paragraphs. Don’t fit all your ideas onto a one paragraph. Organize them into different paragraphs with transitions.
• Read the prompt carefully (third essay on lang exam regarding advertisement and corporate sponsorship.)
• Limit use of rhetorical questions.
• Be careful of slippery slope and melodrama.
• Don’t sound condescending or oversimplify an issue (ex. what cash-strapped schools should do instead of getting sponsored), chances are the issue is more complicated than it appears.
• If there are two points, make sure to talk about both of them equally
• Be sure to state the overall purpose
• Don't use ellipsis unless the sentence makes full grammatical sense with it
• Be conscious about using what vs. that; make sure you are clear with your point. Don't say "...what she was feeling", instead say "...that she was feeling..."
• Don't oversimplify (mother was not a hero)
• Stick to the prompt
• Be sure to answer the question (what vs. that)
• Don't refer to an author by his/her first name, last name always
• Try not to repeat the quote bursts you have already used